commit messages as a service.
This is the thread that Branch was made for. Pack it up, boys, and give the angel investors back their money. There’s no topping this.
He pressed a button. A wall of books opened, and I walked like a lamb into that bustling pleasure palace known as Flossie’s. Red flocked wallpaper and a Victorian decor set the tone. Pale, nervous girls with black-rimmed glasses and blunt-cut hair lolled around on sofas, riffling Penguin Classics provocatively. A blonde with a big smile winked at me, nodded toward a room upstairs, and said, “Wallace Stevens, eh?” But it wasn’t just intellectual experiences. They were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could “relate without getting close.” For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack. For one-fifty, you could listen to FM radio with twins. For three bills, you got the works: A thin Jewish brunette would pretend to pick you up at the Museum of Modern Art, let you read her master’s, get you involved in a screaming quarrel at Elaine’s over Freud’s conception of women, and then fake a suicide of your choosing - the perfect evening, for some guys. Nice racket. Great town, New York.
Shouts & Murmurs: President Romney Meets Other World Leaders
When Mitt Romney introduces himself to voters, he has a peculiar habit of guessing their age or nationality, often incorrectly. (A regular query: “Are you French Canadian?”)
When making small talk with locals, he peppers the conversation with curious details… . Mr. Romney has developed an unlikely penchant for trying to puzzle out everything from voters’ personal relationships to their ancestral homelands… . Mr. Romney likes to congratulate people. For what, exactly, is not always clear.
—The Times, December 28, 2011.
- In this week’s Shouts & Murmurs, Calvin Trillin imagines a meeting between Mitt Romney and other world leaders based on the above report: http://nyr.kr/y1yqCh
Chancellor Merkel, hoping she might have misunderstood the President, said, “I believe the future of the euro will dominate our discussions in the coming days.”
“The city that has more bridges than any other city in the world is Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,” President Romney said. “Congratulations.”
“Congratulations to Pittsburgh?” Chancellor Merkel asked.
President Romney thought for a moment. “No,” he said. “Just congratulations.”
SimCopter had the best in-flight advertisements.
Grin and Tonic, the generally-clever humor column at the Barnes and Noble Review, is back! And this is actually a hilarious one.