It was morning. Sady Doyle, industrious yet sensual blogtrepreneur and owner of Tiger Beatdown Industries, gazed out upon the skyline of New York through her kitchen window. A cigarette dangled, sensually, from her lips as she took in the view. Each building was strong and erect, built on strong and unyielding rods of steel, and strong, impenetrable slabs of granite and glass, thrusting its way up, always up, like progress, and also like boners. She was very aroused.
Men built these buildings, Sady Doyle thought. With their strong, rough hands, and their willfull, domineering minds, they created these giant erections which pleasure me so much now. Men built every single one of these buildings, including that ugly high-rise that is currently blocking my view of the Chrysler Building. That ugly high-rise is the symbol of man’s refusal to submit to my womanly desires. I worship the strong and dominating men who erected that ugly high-rise. Man, I am so turned on.
“I talked to my wife for four hours last night,” said Denver resident Charles Bain. “I got home from work, she started talking. I turned on the TV: Nothing! Nowhere to go, nothing to do but relate to her and the children!”
“AIIIIIEEEEE!!” Bain added, diving headfirst through a plate-glass window to his death.